Life Goes On
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Life goes on, things happen, goals are unmet - we must accept the truth and move on. I've been unable to spend the time at my computer as I had hoped, falling short of my personal goal to finish the trilogy by the first of this month. I'm not stressed, neither am I condemning myself out of sheer personal disappointment. Would I have liked to complete that personal challenge? Yes! Do I know one cannot force a round peg into a square hole? Also, yes! Sadly, body and mind don't always cooperate with one another.
Having had a personal connection with the previous two stories, Benny and Billy, writing them from a place of understanding allowed the stories to very nearly write themselves. Yet, if the third in the trilogy is to be of the same nature as the first two, out of a trial for myself or someone else, then I'm in no hurry. I'm hoping for inspiration without the accompanying trial.
So, here I sit, thoughts and ideas swirling around in my head, occasionally colliding forming a larger concept, yet never going further. According to the information I've received from the writers group I attend, I'm approaching this all wrong, but for now this is how I operate. I don't pretend to be a "writer". I just want to be a vessel out of which stories are written for the edification and enlightenment of others.
To understand why my desire is to edify and enlighten, let me address, for a moment, my genre of writing. If you have read Benny and Billy then you know where I'm coming from. I enjoy writing spiritual fiction, and of course, where this blog began, devotionals. I believe we live in a time where there is much going on in the unseen world - great spiritual battles being waged all around us. Writing to encourage faith and enlighten understanding about how spiritual events become interwoven into our lives is my goal.
I write from the foundation of human nature and the belief and understanding that there is a whole other dimension of reality out there impacting our lives in profound ways. This spiritual dimension, the dark side, that is, plays upon our natural bent to fall short - to sin, and indulge self above others. For example, in writing Billy, it was freakishly easy to imagine shedding all restraints and sinking to the depths of human nature at it's worst and most self-indulgent.
Mainly because I know we emerge from the womb self consumed. Those of us who have had the immense pleasure/pain of raising children know we must teach them to be selfless. The nature of the beast (using this term most lightly) desires everything to be "mine".
The good news is there is a winning side in this spiritual battle - the perspective from which I write. Having read and studied the Bible for many years now, and more recently, delved into the book of Revelation, I have a greater appreciation for the battle being waged around us on a daily basis. Clearly there is good and evil in this world. I don't think anyone would dispute that. My writing perspective comes from what's behind the good and evil. The war being waged for our very souls.
So, stay tuned. Lord willing, there will be more to come.
Updates and Observations
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
I've been silent for a while because, well, I've just been busy. I'm currently working on the third in the trilogy of Benny, Billy and ??? Stay tuned, I will eventually get it up on my blog but first I am going to attempt to finish it, as a personal challenge, for publication - and I don't mean just on my blog. So, we'll see. Either way it will show up here by the end of November.
I didn't know I would enjoy writing in the spiritual fiction genre so much until I'd finished Benny. But then again, why am I surprised? That's my very favorite genre to read, with Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti making the top of my favorite author list. Then when Billy appeared, friends said, "Well, now there has to be a third to make a trilogy!" I laughed at the thought, but revisited the idea concluding, Why not?!
In maintaining a summer Bible study discipline, I chose to study the book of Revelation. A quick web search turned up an excellent downloadable study and I began early in May - I'm still at it! It's a 22 week study I'm in no hurry to finish. What a way to get the creative juices flowing, with it's amazing view of the final battle of good and evil. Spoiler alert - good wins!
As a long time student of the Bible, it is no surprise to me the presence and power of evil, with it's desire to pull others down to destruction. Evil is a degradation and not an elevation of the human spirit. Our base nature so easily leans that way. And, in Revelation, it clearly reveals where the root of evil lies, with the final battle playing out as Satan throws everything he has into his final attempt to destroy mankind. Unfortunately, to some degree, he will be successful. There will be those who willingly follow his deceptions having fully abandoned any faith in God, believing only what they see with their eyes; those whose only desire is to "survive" in this world. Yet, in the end, they will fatefully find there is more to life than just the physical. But, trust me folks, it will get ugly! Unimaginable and unthinkable things are going to happen in that time, and thus reading Revelation makes for good inspiration.
To me, the most fascinating part of Revelation is John, the author, writing in the year 96 A.D. - making observations of things shown to him in the distant future! Things like the technology we daily take for granted, and possibly things we've yet to see ourselves. Think about it, how would you describe something you've never seen before, and have no clue what it is? That makes Revelation totally science "non-fiction" to John! Just imagine going back in time to the early 1800's, before they even knew what a light bulb was, and attempting to describe all the scientific and technological advancements we currently have. John had the even greater challenge because he didn't know what he was describing. What Satan will have at his disposal in this great final battle is mind-boggling!
If I were a scientifically-minded intellectual, Oh, the things I could write! But, alas, I'm not, so I write out of what I do know. And I know, of all the resources Satan has at his disposal, his greatest ploy is deception, the blinding of the eyes to the truth. He will use whatever it takes to achieve that goal.
God does not want anyone to fall prey to Satan's deceptions. He's given us the truth. We either choose to believe it or not. When we willingly turn our backs on that truth, He will only give us so much time to change our minds. Where do you stand today?
God is patient...not wanting any to perish but for all to change their mind and turn to Him.
2 Peter 3:9
Billy
Monday, July 23, 2012
Inspired by a true life story, the following is entitled Billy. It is intended as a sequel to Benny. If you haven't read Benny I encourage you to do so; it is a symbolic spiritual representation of my own personal experience. And Billy, much the same, is also a representation of the true life story of someone else. I would love to hear your comments. Enjoy!
Billy
Detesting
the acidic taste of defeat, the Serpent of Old slithered away leaving
an undulating path in the dust of the earth. So,
it has come to this,
he thought, smoldering as he skulked away. He
was exasperated with botched jobs assigned to his lackeys. His goal
now was to find a new project. He needed to find something a little
more hands-on
this time. The unsuspecting and unguarded were his most sumptuous
prey. They were easy to find and he prided himself on his stealth
attacks. He was tired of the puppetry with his minions. They never
seemed to respond with the precision he would prefer. However, he had
to admit, being the puppeteer did produce great pleasure as one jerk
of the line held the power to make many jump. This reflection twisted
his reptilian face into a sinister smile.
Being
a serpent, it was necessary to employ some creativity for the perfect
“hands-on” adventure and thereby provide a two-fold experience –
posses one and torment another. He needed to choose well or he could
find all his efforts wasted after a time. His vehicle needed to be
completely devoid of conscience, empty in spirit, easily given to
suggestion and ripe for possession. It was as close to sensual as the
Serpent could come when occupying his vehicle, snaking his way up the
spine and into the psyche. He found Billy as ripe as an August peach.
Already given to lust and it's perversions, Billy was the perfect
choice. As the Serpent made his pleasured access to assume his new
persona, Billy shuddered with excitement when the awareness of his own
lust was heightened. The embrace was mutual. Consummating control of
the body, the Serpent immediately felt the unity. The unholy duo was
born. Pleased to be standing upright, he marveled at finding himself
tall and handsome; charming was a bonus, as Billy had previously laid
the groundwork necessary via a “little black book”. The
reformation was complete – he
was now at the helm. Seamlessly, as Billy, he took his first steps
toward his next delight. New-B,
as he thought of himself, hissing out a sulfurous laugh at his own
wit, could not have been more thrilled with his new visage.
A
consummate ladies man, narcissistic and cunning to the core, Billy
always had one in his pocket, one on the hook and at the very least
one in the wings being groomed – but that was only on a slow day.
Today was no different. A jack-of-all-trades by profession working
odd jobs, Billy had varied skills which kept him in regular contact
with a wide field of prey. Again, the Serpent congratulated himself
on his discriminating choice. Billy came complete with the perfect
infrastructure for the plan. While on his current job he had sighted
the neighbor, a young single woman, whom the Serpent thought would be
the perfect “toy”. He detested having to go out of his way. He
coiled with pleasure over Billy's keen eye and Billy responded with a
sadistic sigh. Now, with a few hours until she returned home from
work, he devised his plan. First contact was always crucial.
Needing
to assume the perfect character for the part, he found Billy had
already honed his skill at contrition. Ah,
the ideal ploy.
This was always a good opening he found. His dark side had the
uncanny ability to shine when needed. Having already set the stage,
prior to her return, with a calculated truck bumper shoved against
her now broken split-rail fence he moved in, feigning humility, to
make first contact. So smooth was his approach he very nearly left a
trail in the dust rather than the expected footprints as he moved in
sizing up his prey. His apology had to be flawless. Sliding in with a
contrite smile applied – carefully not allowing his snake-like
features to reveal themselves - and speaking to obtain her attention,
he sprang his trap. He
felt bad...could he be forgiven...yada, yada, yada.
She, of course, caught off guard by such a forthright admission - and
handsome smile - could do nothing but smile back and clear his
conscience for him. Besides, Billy, contorting his reptilian features
into the most humble form possible, offered to repair her fence
before completing the job at her neighbors. Convenient and
it proffered future contact.
Over
eons of practice New-B
(he thoroughly enjoyed the irony of his self-proclaimed moniker) had
honed his people skills well and was able to extract vital personal
information in the course of the conversation. With his strategy in
place he could begin the grooming process
of
What was her name? Oh, well, names are of no consequence.
However he liked Souris, the French word for mouse, and thought it
appropriate in this instance.
Yes, Souris, she will be,
he thought, remembering his
love for watching the earthly little felines toying with their prey
before the kill. The relationship to his current arrangement didn't
escape him in the least. He almost blew his cover as those
troublesome reptilian features twisted into a sadistic smirk behind
Billy's face.
Relishing
the game as Billy, he took his time with Souris during the following
week. Keeping the contact casual but flirty to maintain interest.
Besides, time was of no essence, he had other options in play in the
meanwhile - being without options was
never
an option.
And
the little black book was certainly a windfall for that purpose. And,
Oh,
the technology!
A few phone calls, some well abbreviated text messages, and his
horizons expanded over night. Delighted, he barely knew which option
to pursue to keep the game in play the longest. He allotted some time
for playing with Billy's current girlfriend, twisting her thinking,
building her dependence, all-the-while plotting his next move with
Souris. Feeling completely enamored of his new found pleasures in
lust, each nefarious thought inspired another raising his
consciousness to a new god-like level. At the moment he couldn't even
remember this girlfriend's name. She provided only the necessary
hovel for him to return to each night. He had no real use for her –
except her credit cards which allowed him access to the worldly
implements of his trade. He found it unusual when Souris rebuffed his
use of flowers. In the past the flattery of flowers had been an easy
scheme always working to open doors when well timed and well placed.
However, she actually appeared offended and that was intriguing. Now
he must find the right approach to break her will. This was going to
be a challenge he would thoroughly enjoy.
Meanwhile,
the one Billy was grooming for his next foray was easily held in
place with minimal contact. Easy marks were in no short supply. This
one only required an occasional text message and brief phone call –
almost too easy. It was Souris who was keeping him bemused. She was
unlike any other he had previously encountered. By prolonging the job
next door he was able to watch and learn; placing some well timed
phone calls and text messages. Oh, how he loved text messages.
Intimate yet casual all at the same time. It was amazing what could
be conveyed merely with a
letter.
It sure beat stone tablets! The modern world - the ultimate
playground – became opportunity at the very finger tips. Yet,
Souris was holding him at arm's length when others had already begun
to yield. A greater challenge than expected but one that only served
to increase the pleasure of the hunt. This challenge demanded darker
more ancient skills. Skills honed over 2000 years ago. He began to
salivate at the thought of going even deeper. Tapping into ancient
resources of knowledge and experience acquired eons ago, Billy was
jubilant. It filled him with an exuberance for life previously
unexplored fueling his ungodly passions. Souris would be no match
for this new art form; because, indeed, this time it would be
elevated to a work of art. Cunning
and craft combined to the ultimate end,
he mused as a demented smile crossed his face. Was that a scale he
saw on his eyebrow in the mirror this morning?
That
night, distracted by Souris' rebuff, he snaked his way back to the
girlfriend's pit – for that's what he thought of it. Her attempts
at cleanliness were only met with contempt, though he did enjoy
tormenting her with his raving upon finding the smallest thing out of
place when he came home. This time he used his new found energy
against the girl, demeaning her mercilessly and found it uniquely
satisfying. He would have to call this energy up more often. The
power was intoxicating. Reeling her in with feigned love and
adoration, along with a little blasphemy, she had fallen for him in
short order, allowing him free access into her home. The misplaced
morals of this age made it too easy - but there was no victory to be
had there and that disgusted him. Tonight he would sleep in the den.
Billy's
dreams that night were a torment of passion and putrescence. He awoke
abruptly with the smell of decay in his nostrils and lust in his
blackened heart and he took it out on the girl. This
new sovereignty is highly effectual, he
smirked with gratification. Leaving her without a thought he
slithered off to work with a renewed sense of purpose for the day.
This was going to be the day Souris would be added to his spoil. He
felt confident there would be no
hindrances. Sure, the rebuff had been put into play but that was just
the way of the mouse wasn't it. They always enjoyed the game as much
as the cat, right? toying with the affections of the felines just to
keep it interesting. But in the end the cat always
got the prize. The reward for a game well played.
Still
working on the job at the neighbor's house, Billy was able to monitor
the coming and going of Souris. Gaining entry through an unlocked
door while she was away, he surveyed her home noting all points of
access. He smoldered with excitement at the intimacy of being in her
space undetected, carefully leaving no evidence of his intrusion. But
the urge to touch and fondle was nearly impossible to keep in check.
The sights and smells were tantalizing, drawing him like a moth to a
flame as he went from room to room taking in the luxury of this
reconnaissance. Knowing the intimacy of the mouse's space was always
helpful in forming his final tactic, and touching brought him Oh,
so much closer.
Yet his demonic confidence maintained that this time his approach
wouldn't need elaborate design and thus touching wouldn't be
necessary – though highly desirable. He reluctantly withdrew
himself returning to work.
In
recent months his ego had grown with each new conquest. So certain
was he this time he would need only to adorn himself with his soft
feline qualities, he would rely only on the persistent patience of
the hunt to gain him entrance without force. Now all he had to do was
wait – the tantalizing and torturous wait. And wait he must; it had
to be after dark. That's when the advantage is his, when the
resistance of every Souris is weakest. He had never
failed when his strategy was employed after dark. For now, in the
waiting, he would pursue the game, pulling strings, making use of
technology with some text messages and a phone call or two. Endearing
phrases, along with the sound of his voice would, most certainly,
prime the pump, so-to-speak. But he didn't quite have the patience of
the feline refined as yet and the wait was virtually unbearable.
Returning to the pit
at
the end of the day he was caught off guard finding an empty house and
a note. He would be alone for the weekend. His lip curled in an angry
snarl,
What's-her-name was
gone visiting her sister. His sinister heart had been set on some
amusement and a shower before playing out the game with Souris. A
little pre-game entertainment along with a beer or two – if he even
bothered to count – would heighten the outcome.
Conceding
to only the beer and to help pass the time he curled his scaly
reptilian fingers around the “little black book”, scanned the
entries and chose an alternate pastime to amuse himself. Ah,
here's one previously overlooked,
his sulfuric breath wheezed through flaccid lips, surprised at the
repulsive sound it made. This diversion would be quite entertaining.
Fresh targets always caused his cold blood to run faster. Secondary
contact had to be well timed and the clock was ticking on this one.
He was grateful for the time-stamp system in this registry otherwise
the occasional one would slip away due to lack of attention. Here
strategy wasn't necessary, only contact, so he entertained himself in
lengthy conversation before boredom and lack of interest set in.
Trapping Souris was nagging in his perverted mind driving him like an
overbearing taskmaster. He had to take control. He bowed to no
master; he was no slave! He showered, made the awkward attempt at
shaving – contorting the human face for such a ritual was so
distasteful - and left without any gratification from the evening's
entertainment.
Checking
himself in the rear-view mirror of his truck he sampled several
expressions, focusing on the eyes. Not only did his appearance have
to be perfection, so also did his demeanor. He never had quite gotten
the whole transition into human form down pat and found often the
eyes gave him away for some reason. Tonight it must be impeccable.
Intimidation and forcefulness most certainly must remain concealed
upon approach. Force would come later, but for starters it was all
about pacification; convincing Souris the feline meant no harm. This,
the final stage of the chase, always filled him with an unmatched
exhilaration, yet managed with a cunning and calculated calm. This is
what he lived for.
Opting
to begin with a short text message before driving away, he sent a
simple query to Souris about her day. Expecting a quick response, he
was momentarily confused when it went unanswered. He sent another five minutes later. Again nothing. Several more tries and his patience
began to wear thinner than a sheet of ice in hell. He changed
tactics. Dialing her number, the expectation was an answer, yet again
he was met with only a voice mail prompt. Caught off guard for the
second time in the evening he immediately hung up; but reconsidering
and redialing, he chose to leave an enticing voice message instead.
Getting cut-off by the message timer, he called back just to finish
his thought. Lack of control was completely unacceptable, not to
mention, he despised when the game-play didn't follow his
predetermined plan. He snorted, very nearly expelling sulfurous fumes
through his nostrils, as he sat in the truck. The alcohol he had
previously consumed now fully coursing through his system began to
sway his decision making. Juss
who does s'this lil' snip ofa mouse think she ish anyway? She can't
lead me on and then'ot follow through! Billy
slurred out loud.
The
Serpent was incensed, ready to send Billy up in flames he was so
angry. His passion for lustful pleasures had ensnared him, along with
Billy, and now he was suffering the consequences as Billy wrestled
for control due to the high alcohol levels in his blood. This was not
the usual outcome; Billy's lust ran even deeper than anticipated. He
would need to divert Billy's attention. Twisting tighter up into
Billy's psyche, reminding him of all his past conquests, and giving
him a brief glimpse into the future, the Serpent hissed
conspiratorially,
Who said there has to be only one tonight?
Billy surrendered as the passions of his past played across his mind
in pornographic fashion. The Serpent sighed with sadistic pleasure at
once again being in control. This was going to be a good night!
Billy
drove off in a drunken fog deciding first to make a brief detour,
thinking that nearly overlooked little entry in his black book would
be fun for some warm up exercises. They
say you should always stretch before a work out, right? he
calculated, as he aimed his truck toward his first victim of the
night.
Completing
that mission so quickly he didn't even work up a sweat, and after
ravishing her violently and mercilessly, he left her devastated on the
floor of her bedroom, bleeding and bruised. He huffed fumes of
contempt and disgust at her as he slammed the door behind himself, heading for Souris' house; already worked up because she hadn't had
the courtesy to answer her phone or texts. He knew the drive
blindfolded, having been in the neighborhood for his job and the
frequent drive-by to keep an eye on the prize. Arriving well after
dark, he grew giddy with deviant delight to find lights still on in
the house. So,
she IS home after all! Playing hard to get, I see, he
hissed; and the windows were all open as well. Perfect
for alternate access if necessary.
He exited his truck on legs still rubbery from the alcoholic
consumption, though it's effects were beginning to wear off.
Making
his bold play, Billy sauntered up to the front door, nearly loosing
his cool as he stumbled over some unseen object, rang the doorbell
fully confident Souris would emerge, and pleased the glass in the
door would allow him to see her face as she approached. The element
of surprise always made for great counterplot. Yet, this time, he was
certain she knew he was coming and would be waiting expectantly for
him to appear. Really,
she understands the game play by now, right?
he reflected, as thoughts of other troublesome chaff came to mind.
When there was no immediate response, the rage quickly surfaced;
holding it in check, he took his time to, once again, ring the
doorbell. He wanted her to be sure and understand ignoring him was
NOT an option. A few more cycles of ringing and waiting ensued,
building both his anger and his passions. Remaining calm was
imperative; now was not the time to allow human emotions to interfere
with his devilish intent.
In
the midst of his victorious musings there suddenly burst a thunderous
rumbling roar from the other side of the door; deafening and as
frightening as a freight train's imminent destructive crush bearing
down with the great hideous light of it's engine illuminating him in
it's spotlight, nearly blinding those reptilian eyes. Shocked and
disoriented, yet driven by the engine of his own lust, he continued,
now pounding on the door. Blinded by his own lustful rage and livid
anger with the former botched jobs of his minions, the Serpent was
completely unaware The Ancient of Days had called forth his most
mighty warrior to stand guard at the door to protect one of his own.
Billy had been too dull to notice, having freely given himself over
to the to the demonic schemes. Seething at this turn of events the
Serpent's scales bristled with contempt. This
will be the final face-off!
There
is no light greater than mine!
he scoured.
He
did
not intend to lose this one.
Through
the glass Billy saw the looming presence of a monstrous creature with
hundreds of eyes staring him down and an ear-shattering voice, loud
like the crack of thunder, shaking the very ground on which he stood.
The blinding white-hot light gave Billy pause to wonder how the door
could withstand the heat without bursting into flames. The Serpent
knew it well and coiled to strike. The menacing voice was commanding
and powerful causing both Billy and the Serpent to stumble backward, unable to resist. This
one you may not have!
the voice pealed, She
belongs to the Lion and the Lamb.
The Serpent, recognizing the voice, remained undaunted; bent on the
destruction he had already charted, propelled Billy forward,
attempting his own countermove toward the door. He was ready to shed
this worthless
shell
and do battle on his own - but not yet prepared to admit he'd chosen
another substandard vessel - so he pushed on.
As
if bending into the force of hurricane winds, the Serpent drove Billy
forward toward the door once again, determined to break through. The
prize was in there and he WOULD
have
it! Billy, feeling the bile of fear rising up in his throat, froze
when suddenly the unspeakable creature stepped through the unopened
door morphing into a great living spire of light. The entire yard was
illuminated with its blazing presence revealing the reptilian form
within Billy, and it was bearing down on him. How
was THAT even possible?
Billy freaked, attempting to wrap his mind around what he'd just seen, not noticing the scales now protruding through his skin. Out from the
midst of the light the great voice resounded once again, STOP!
The Keeper will not allow you access. You cannot touch those who
belong to Him! and
producing a flaming sword, aimed it directly at Billy's heart,
chilling him to the core.
Billy's
legs turned to jello at the fearsome sight. Yet he could feel the
unholy struggle raging within himself; his own lust not having
departed. This ancient battle was all too familiar to the Serpent; an
ever present thorn in his side. He pressed even deeper into Billy's
psyche.
I am god here!
he shrieked. Move,
Billy! You simpering little snipe! You know she's in there, and I
know you want her, he
goaded.
Attempting
to comply with the Serpent's promptings, Billy's feet seemed rooted
to the ground. He was unable to respond as the light of this creature
enveloped him with its incinerating presence, pressing the sword
into his flesh. Billy,
your sins have found you out,
the great voice of the creature condemned. Billy recoiled at the
sound, retreating into the depths of his depravity, as he felt his
body begin to smolder. Then from behind more lights appeared,
flashing colors - red and blue, red and blue - with the ear-piercing
scream of sirens. Filled with the frustration of the unattained
conquest, he collapsed on the lawn unaware of the Serpent's seamless
precision of withdrawal.
Choking
on the stench of his defeat, the Serpent silently slipped away across
the lawn, the shifting of the blades of grass barely noticeable as he
slithered into the darkness, leaving Billy to bear the consequences
he knew all too well.
He
would Find
a better goat next time,
he coughed, puffing a toxic fume.
John
3:19-20
The Amoebic Lifestyle
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Have you ever encountered people who live I have come to call an amoebic lifestyle? You know amoeba, those tiny shape-shifting single-celled creatures that spend their lives just oozing around the bottom of ponds. Their lives consist of mere reactions to their circumstances and surroundings. People who live amoebic lives make only the necessary momentary adjustments to avoid pain and suffering; choices made on-the-fly, so to speak. They don't seem to consider the future at all. Living in the moment, some might call it. But living in the moment has it's consequences. This lifestyle will eventually reveal they are living in crisis mode on an ongoing basis.
I have another blog called Life Without Chocolate; the name being a metaphor for choosing to live without certain things in my life that aren't beneficial to me or my health. These "things" that are needful to be chosen certainly range deeper than just the physical. Just because I can doesn't mean I should covers so much more than making choices about my physical being or merely reacting to circumstances. It extends to the mental and spiritual as well.
I seem to have the need to test the waters on a regular basis even knowing the outcome! I know that if I eat chocolate I will suffer greatly as a result - a given. And this is only one example. Why do I do that? I actually know but I will spare you the sermon. It's the human curse/blessing to be sure - free will. Free will gets us into trouble all the time!
I could choose to live in the moment daily, eat what I want or do what I want, and deal with the consequences as they arise living the amoebic lifestyle but I've found life flows more smoothly if I actually think ahead. I'm just starting to get the big picture in a clearly much larger scope after being diagnosed with food allergies 16 months ago. Kind of the HD/3D version of life. In those 16 months there have been many bad choices, oversights and Oh, duh! moments.
This new revelation has given understanding which has overflowed into my spiritual life as well. As a child of God I can certainly make choices in this life that are fun and interesting - for the moment - however they may have lasting negative consequences far beyond what I might realize. Cursed FREE WILL!
The Bible encourages us to live not just for the moment but for eternity; to set our minds on the things that will affect the eternal outcome of our lives and not the things just pertaining to our earthly lives. In other words, we are not to live as amoebas just bumping around life reacting, but actually planning ahead for what's to come.
And what is to come you might ask? Good question. If you were to die today what would happen to you? I believe there is God given life after death - either in heaven, through Jesus, or hell, through rejecting Him. You may believe there is nothing after death where everything just ends. That's your prerogative. But what if I'm right and you are wrong? Then I will have lost nothing and you will have lost everything! If we've chosen to live the amoebic lifestyle it is too late to make any other choice once we've died.
For me it's like choosing to live without chocolate. It's a much healthier life I live without it - in the moment and in the future. I have also chosen to live through Jesus - now and forever - making those decisions in life that are not just an amoebic response to my circumstances.
How about you?
Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.
Colossians 3:2
Fibromyalgia - My opinion
Monday, June 4, 2012
Wisdom and common sense says, if one thing doesn't work try something else. That's what I did. This is a part of my story that I haven't as yet shared.
Personally I am convinced that many of the people out there who are diagnosed with fibromyalgia and are given drugs with potential horrendous side effects to combat the pain are really suffering from food allergies/sensitivities. But does conventional medicine test for food allergies? NO!
This is only my opinion, but it is also my experience.
Aside from the health issues of benzodiazepines (read My Story) there was other stuff going on in my body that was unexplained - nebulous pain, muscle cramps that would stay locked in for days and hypersensitivity to OTC pain relievers and prescription drugs. I became terrified if I needed even a simple antibiotic not knowing how my body would respond.
My God directed appointment.
I had been wanting to find a doctor closer to home who could manage my natural hormone replacement therapy and discovered a new doctor in town who also happened to be a naturopathic doctor. The first visit with her became my life changing God directed appointment. After addressing the primary reason for my visit, HRT, she began asking routine questions regarding the new patient health forms I had filled out. A few minutes later she recommended I be tested for food allergies/sensitivities. Figuring I had nothing to lose I agreed and one month later I discovered, after being tested for 200 foods, I had sensitivities to 51 of those foods or their components. That's 25%! Many of which had been a regular part of my daily diet - dairy, wheat, coffee, chocolate (heartbreaking) just to name a few of the most common.
Not all health foods are healthy!
We hear on a regular basis how good olive oil is for us and should be the primary oil in our pantry which is exactly what I'd done not knowing that having it in my daily diet was like taking poison. It has been eye-opening to realize many of the things that modern society has come to believe are good for us have actually been causing me health issues. How many advertisements tell us whole wheat should be a daily part of our diet? Or, eat our "leafy greens" for good health. Well one of the most common leafy greens, spinach, is NOT good for me - nor are tomatoes, sweet potatoes, olives (olive oil), cranberries, cherries, I could go on but I will spare you the whole list of 51. You get the idea, right?
Chocolate - my neurotoxin.
I've now come to consider chocolate a neurotoxin! After having removed it completely from my diet for about 9 months I decided to treat myself (well, really I binged but that's beside the point) and ended up with a leg cramp that lasted for 10 days! OK, now I know - chocolate is poison in my body, unless of course I want to suffer the consequences. No, thank you, I'd rather live without the pain. Pain is a great deterrent!
So, by now you may be asking, What does this all have to do with my opinion of fibromyalgia?
It's all in my choices.
What is the definition of fibromyalgia but unexplained widespread pain! The pain and the associated muscle cramps would often leave my medical care givers scratching their heads. They had no explanation for what was happening to me. I would get a chiropractic adjustment to realign my spine and before I could make the 10 minute drive to the massage therapist it would be all pulled out of alignment once again by the muscles! The physical therapy, chiropractic and massage therapy were only temporary solutions at best. HOWEVER, after eliminating the offending foods from my diet for one month all these issues began to go away. I can now live pain free and free of muscle cramps if I chose to eat right.
A little networking, and I've begun to hear similar stories. I even mentioned it to my naturopathic doctor and she couldn't disagree. My heart breaks for all those out there who are suffering chronic pain when it is possible their condition is being caused by what they are eating and it could so easily be remedied by eliminating certain foods from their diets.
If you have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and think it would be worth getting tested for food allergies I strongly urge you to seek out a naturopathic doctor and request the test. It could be life changing.
I'm praying for you.
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